Our Mediterranean Cruise 2017 - Part 2

Day 3 - St. Raphael

In the cold light of day, I can reflect on last night with pride, albeit laced with a modicum of embarrassment. Mrs Dave had no idea that I had volunteered for the music quiz, as she had popped to the loo, when one of the entertainment team, seeing me enjoy the band that was on, sidled up and asked if I wanted to be in the quiz. Even affirming the question, by saying "are you sure?" Thus giving me ample time to reconsider my initial positive reaction - perhaps it was my inner narcissist, or more likely it was the wine, but I confirmed - I was in!
Anyway, the room was virtually empty, there was only a few dimly lit faces between me and the bar, so just me the room and a quiz. No problem. However, as the band went into another murderous melody of hits of yesteryear, the room slowly began to fill. By the time the clock had got around to nine thirty, my stomach began to churn and the room was full, or that's what it looked like to me, passengers laughing, joking, drinking and waiting for a music quiz.The band bowed out and the quiz was being prepared, two stools and a big buzzer on a pedestal were bought to the centre of the dance floor, in front of the stage. A girl from the entertainment team took to the microphone and announced that the quiz was starting shortly and could the two team captains make their way to the stage. At this point, I got up, held my stomach, took a deep breath and walked towards the stage. Through the noisy buzz of the crowd I heard Mrs Dave enquire; "Where the bloody hell are you going?"

Luckily I needn't have worried, as we; my opposing captain and I, waited, they explained that it was basically a team game, they will split the room in half and we each captain a side. We had our own cheesey compere in Jake, who was a great laugh and we both played off each other with jokes and quips. The quiz itself was about five rounds of visual or audio questions and it was the team captain's role to garner the right answer from the crowd, shouting for help and taking the consensus of opinions. It was a bit silly, but fun, everyone seemed to have a laugh, the crowd enjoyed it. Oh and we won!!
That TUI Discovery leatherette notepad and pen, plus the keyring will come in handy!

Anyway, back to today. We have anchored off the coast of France at a port called St. Raphael, not far from Cannes and St. Tropez. In fact our first organised excursion was to Cannes. We had to take a tender from ship to shore, as the port was too shallow for our ship to dock. From the dockside we boarded our coach to Cannes. We had a guide on board to give us the lowdown on Cannes and it's history. We had a couple of hours to wander the streets and beaches of Cannes, before popping back to the coach and the return trip to St. Raphael, where there was more wandering and the obligatory holiday ice cream.


Then it was back to the tender and the short sail back to the ship, accompanied by various boat related songs played over the speakers. It's all a bit surreal when 60 odd (very odd in some cases) passengers start singing "We all live in a yellow submarine!"

Later on we have the strange juxtaposition,  when bingo was followed by drinks with the captain. From crossing off numbers to hob-nobbing with the uniformed officers.

More on this later...


Day 4 - Florence & Pisa

So we finished day three with bingo in the bar, followed by a quick change in to our best bib-and-tucker for the "Dress to Impress" night.Well you have never seen so many ballgowns and tuxedos in your life! Everyone was dressed up to the nines, hoping for a picture with the captain and then pay through the nose for a print of it! We never bothered, I was feeling a little out of my depth, so we people watched from a balcony overlooking the Atrium. Just a word on the Atrium; it is huge! About five decks high with two glass lifts serving all floors, with bars and restaurants leading off. It is very bright, shiny and gold. Lots of bling. It's probably what the inside of the White House looks like, now Trump has moved in!

Anyway we rounded off the evening in the Italian restaurant, with a lovely meal with exquisite service.

Back to Day 4 proper; another early breakfast and then off to the quayside to pick up our coach to Florence. 
It was very hot and sticky, and very, very busy in Florence, but our tour guide took us safely to the main sites of interest, filling us in on the history of this beautiful city, with lots of photo opportunities, the cathedral, the Baptistry, Piazza del Duomo, Santa Croce, the Ponte Vecchio and the (replica) statue of David by the Palazzo Vecchio.

All very beautiful, but very warm walking around the Florentine streets, so a quick stop for a drink and we were heading back to the air conditioned luxury of the coach and the trip to Pisa.



There is something quite surreal about seeing an incredibly famous, historical building for the first time, especially one as iconic as the Leaning Tower. It was a remarkable sight! As were all the tourists posing with their arms up in the air, in a faux "holding up the tower" pose. Yes, we did it too! However, the serene majestic beauty of seeing the tower, in the beautiful surroundings of the Piazza del Duomo, will stay with me forever.
Only a short hour in Pisa, but it was sufficient to get the requisite photos and a quick bite to eat, but definitely on the list of places to visit again and spend some more time in and around the tower.


One downside to Pisa, was the proliferation of "Looky, looky" men, who seemed to be everywhere. As soon as a coach pulled into the car park, they seemed to descend in hordes, intent on selling you an umbrella. An umbrella!! It's not going to rain!! They also had sunglasses, watches, handbags and the ubiquitous selfie-sticks! You do have to run the gauntlet of these fellows, just don't engage them, otherwise they'll be upon you! An undesirable side to holidays it seems now. Also pick-pockets are rife. We were targeted by a group of girls posing as tourists, but I soon put myself firmly in the way of them and Mrs Dave's handbag and they soon dispersed. Keep 'em peeled!

More in the next part...


Part 3

Our Mediterranean Cruise 2017 - Part 1

Day 1 - Home to Palma.

So, here we go again! It's holiday time and I hate it! My regular reader will know that I hate going on holiday - I love "being" on holiday - I just hate the anxiety of "going". The "what ifs" and the "have you packed?" I drive my family crazy! However, when we reach the point of no return, i.e. the suitcases have disappeared behind that flappy curtain, like a cheap funeral for luggage, then that's it - game on!

This year after many a year on coach holidays, we decided, or I was told, to be more precise; "no more coaches! Instead, let's do a cruise!"

So here I am, sat on a ship in Barcelona. This is our second day, yesterday we flew into Palma, Majorca and transferred to our ship; the TUI Discovery.

First impressions? Like Butlins at sea!! It is your archetypal and stereotypical British holidaymakers, but abroad, but at home - if you get my drift? The cruise ship appears to be an English resort, transported to sunnier climes. Having said that, although I was somewhat dismayed by the awful sight of the tattoo'd masses herding around the smoking deck, it was not all like that.
I know this makes me sound like an enormous snob, which I'm not really. I used to smoke, I grew up in council housing, I am from a working class background - I've just grown up, trying to better oneself and to improve the life for my family - this isn't doing me any favours is it? It's like this, there are definite areas of class on board ship and I like the better bits.

Anyway, back to Palma and getting aboard. There was some quiet efficiency going on as we boarded; cruise cards were issued, ID photos taken, debit card details linked to your cruise card. To elaborate, it's an all inclusive cruise - but not everything is included. So should you have something outside of the all inclusive deal, it'll be charged to your cruise card, which is your passport off and on the ship, your method of authentication when ordering drinks, plus it also doubles as your payment method when you purchase anything from the on board shops or facilities and as it's linked to a debit card, so there's no chance of you not getting billed on the last day! All those extras you got will soon show up on the next bank statement

We have a deluxe balcony cabin!

I would have to look up the definition of deluxe though, as it may have a different meaning at sea! The pull out sofa bed can hardly be classed as deluxe, but it was for our daughter and she didn't complain. The cabin is comfortable, tidy, clean and well maintained. On board there are lots of things to see and do; bars a-plenty although, and back to the Butlins analogy here, you need to get there early if you want a seat!

Waking up in Barcelona was great, open the curtains and you have a totally different view to what you went to bed with! Trying to find a table for breakfast was not so great! It was virtually impossible, but I guess first timers like us and those who have just joined, all have the same idea and head to Islands buffet restaurant - horrendous! Literally hundreds of passengers milling around with half a plate of breakfast, trying to find a seat. They've only got half a plate, due to the fact they've been eating it whilst shuffling around. (More on food later in the blog, we learn a few things and things start to look up).

Anyway, onward and starboard! Let's see what today brings.


Day 2 - Barcelona

What a day! We are currently travelling along the eastern seaboard of northern Spain, heading for France. It is half past ten at night, as I sit here writing, reflecting on the day. As I said before, breakfast was impossible, everybody trying to eat at the same time, it left us eating outside with the smokers alongside the swimming pool, it was far from ideal and clearly pushing our respective "tetchy" buttons. However, we rose above the annoyance and took our frustration out on the mini-golf on deck 10. Yes, there's a mini golf course on board. It's just next to the climbing wall. (Yes, there's one of them too!)

Little Miss Dave AND Mrs Dave took on the challenge of the climbing wall. Very impressive efforts from both of them. Very proud I was. Health and safety prevented me from having a go. Not my health and safety, but that of the man on the other end of the rope! It had nothing to do with the safety harness not being able to get around my fuller frame. Don't they know it's all inclusive cruise, get bigger harnesses!

We then ventured into the Glass House and the cooling comfort of the indoor pool, which we had all to ourselves. Followed by a quick dip in the whirlpool hot tub. See? Things are looking up. We then popped back up to deck 10, above the main deck, to enjoy some Barcelona sunshine, which was a little hot for me, but one cannot complain. After that we headed for a bite to eat and then hopped off the ship, just to say that we had actually "landed" in Barcelona.

After a quick shower and a read or a trip to the shops, dependent on your gender, we headed into 47° - one of two main waiter service restaurants on board. And oh my word, what an amazing experience. A much more civilised affair. Exquisite waiter service, in very opulent surroundings, not tacky or too glitzy. I ordered a glass of wine with my meal - which got refilled every time it neared the empty stage, I soon lost count of how many times it had been topped up! The food was lovely, the waiting staff so attentive, the Chardonnay seemingly bottomless. When we headed out of the restaurant, I wasn't sure if the ship was swaying, or it was me!

We decided to pop down to Venue, one of the show bars to see what entertainment was on offer. Now it could have been the refreshing sea air, or it could have been due to ebullient atmosphere of my fellow passengers, or it could even have been the copious amounts of Chardonnay quaffed, but somehow, the quiet unassuming me said "yes", when asked if I'd like to be on stage and be a captain in the forthcoming music quiz.

What have I done?


Part 2