Our American Holiday 2012 – Part 8

We awake on Day 13 of our holiday, the penultimate day, a day tinged with a little sadness, as the end is insight. That sadness, dissolves quite quickly as we remember it’s another complimentary breakfast day! As has been the case in some of the other hotels providing a free breakfast, we were shoved into a room of insufficient size, with clearly an inadequate number of chairs and tables! And as the room we were in, doubled as the hotel bar, we found ourselves having to perch precariously on three barstools, which is not as easy as it sounds when you’re trying to balance 2 hard boiled eggs, a muffin, a croissant, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee! The breakfast seemed to be a bit of an eclectic mix!

At one point as I was helping myself to another glass of orange juice. (It’s free! Get it down yer!!) As I was walking away, I had a tap on my shoulder (should that be a faucet?) Anyway, this young (teenage) Dutch girl, attracts my attention with a tap on my shoulder, followed by, in her best English; “Canz youm elp me pleeze?” I turn, to see her forlorn face, tortured by her predicament. Her eyes leave mine and she glances down toward the orange juice dispenser, which is now issuing forth gallons of juice.

The vitamin C fuelled tsunami has already overwhelmed the drip tray and is forming rivers of orange across the table. Quick as a flash, I ascertain the nature of the problem; calculate the requirements to resolve the issue in my head, and in one swift, deft and calm movement, I reach out my hand and flick the tap to the ‘off’ position.

She whispers sweetly “zank you” and walks away, leaving me looking very guilty by a small ocean of orange juice. I beat a hasty retreat, whilst pointing and tutting in the direction of the mess, saying; “some people”!

Free breakfast devoured, we hand our keys in at reception and walk out to the coach, to see where we are sitting today. Suzanne rotates us around the coach you see? So we all get a chance to be near the front, or back and we get a chance to chat to new people. It’s a good way to mix us up and meet our fellow passengers.

Talking of our fellow passengers, isn’t it about time we talked about some others? We’ve had Miss Daisy and her permanent look of surprise. We’ve had the legends; Ernie and Suzanne. And the hapless Jenny and Jan.

I have a confession to make here. At the start of the journey, before we get to know everyone’s names, I apply nicknames to certain people; the problem is these nicknames sometimes stick. For instance, there was a lovely couple, who we didn’t really start talking to until we were into the second week. However, on Day 1, it was remarked upon that the husband looked very much like Greg Wallace, that chap off Masterchef. Well that name stuck! And it was always Greg, even when we knew his name was Lawrence! Sorry Lawrence!

Worst still, one of my favourite couples from the whole holiday were Paula and her friend; Jen. Now Paula was an absolute blast! So very funny, with a cutting wit. We loved her. (And if you’re reading this Paula, we still love you! And keep in touch.)

Anyway, Paula was nameless to start, but I’m sorry for Jen, her nickname in the first few days, was; “Fanny Pack”!

Jen wore that fashion faux pas, a bum bag. Some ladies suit a waist mounted bag. Jen did not. Bless her. And as the bum bag in America, is called a fanny pack, that is what Jen was called for the first week!

Sorry Jen!

Anyway, back to the coach! Today’s morning stop was to be the best stop ever! Sorry, I have to be biased here, but our trip from Orlando to our next hotel in Miami Beach was to be bridged by a few hours at the Kennedy Space Center! Awesome as our American cousins would say!

Now, I could wax lyrical about Kennedy all day, but I won’t. I will say it was my highlight, just being able to see the vastness of the area where all those historic Mercury, Gemini, Apollo and shuttle missions started was totally amazing. My flabber has never been so gasted!

I will summarise the best bits of Kennedy for you, as we had a lot to pack into a short space of time. On arrival, Suzanne dutifully got the tickets and ushered us into the entrance, where we were scanned, checked and patted down, the complex is still a government establishment after all. Once inside Suzanne explained that we have been booked into a 12:30 screening of a film in the amazing 3D IMAX theatre, so we need to back before then. Also, we were booked to take a ride in the Space Shuttle Launch Experience simulator! Which was our first port of call. In between times we were free to tour the vast complex, using the shuttle buses that Kennedy lay on.

Off to the Space Shuttle Launch Experience simulator we all trot. The first inkling that this was a proper simulator was the requirement to put all your loose belongings into lockers. Cue a lot of sunglasses, cameras, handbags, hats and false limbs being deposited. Next stop as we shuffled through, was the now obligatory photo stop. This time a green screen background and a quick “smile” was all that was required and we shuffled on through, wondering how much change out of $30 there would be, if we wanted to buy all 3 photo’s!

Queueing did not take too much time and soon we were going through the pre-ride video presentations, starring previous shuttle astronauts, who said that the simulator was the closest thing to reality you’d get on earth!

Essentially, the way the simulator works is, we are loaded into the shuttle cargo hold 60 to 80 people at a time and get strapped in! And this is what we did, we line up behind a row of doors and as they swing open, we step inside to board the shuttle. We take our seats and get instructions to fasten our seat belts, the doors close and the large monitors in front burst into life. Voices crackle on the radio, a countdown commences, noises in the background emanate from around us and……..

………..the doors open again and a red faced attendant says, can we remain seated, as there’s been a technical hitch!
No! It’s Challenger all over again!

There is a lot of activity and radio contact going on, the outer doors open, to reveal the next lot of passengers waiting to “take off”.

I shout through the open doors; “HELP! HELP! We’re trapped! The cabin is depressurising! Get us out!!”

I didn’t, but I thought it and I really wish that I had shouted out!

Anyway, more mumbled instructions on the radios and I’m sure someone said; “have you tried turning it off and on again?”

The monitors flick into life and a progress bar appears, followed closely by “Loading Microsoft Windows XP”.

Second time lucky and we’re off. We get talked through the procedure by ex-astronauts on one screen, view the launch pad on another and the whole ‘shuttle’ rocks backwards as we are tilted into the vertical launch position. We are now on our backs, facing skyward, the lights dim; the countdown nears zero and the command for main engine start echoes across the radio. At this point the gentle hum and vibration increases and we are literally shaken as if we were hanging atop a huge washing machine going into the worst unbalanced spin-cycle imaginable! The whole shuttle is shaking and pulsating, the blast as the engines kick in is deafening! We’re off and have cleared the tower! Looking at the people strapped into the row in front, their heads are banging away at the head rest, being shaken half to death!

We “reach” the required distance down range and jettison the Solid Rocket Boosters and the violent shaking eases off. We progress through our shortened journey into orbit and ease back to a horizontal position and we begin our orbit, at which point the cargo bay doors above us open, to reveal a starry sky. A extremely nice view indeed.

We descend back to earth very quickly; well they shut the cargo bay doors and turn the lights back on. What a fantastic ride.

Departing from the Space Shuttle Launch Experience simulator, we have to exit through gift shop!!
What a surprise!
We relent and buy all photo’s for $25 and I pick up a t-shirt and baseball cap that were on offer!

We nonchalantly exit the gift shop to pick our bits up from the lockers, when we discover Suzanne loitering outside.

“Come on!” she says, “schnell, schnell!”

“You needz to get zee move on, get onz the tour bus, aww you vill not make zee IMAX! SCHNELL!”

We “schnell” and join the queue for the shuttle buses, which will take us out towards the other parts of the complex. The queue takes the form of zig-zag walkways and we zig and then zag up and down, until we align with a few other members of our coach, who are just zigging, as we are zagging. On e of them whispers in an Australian accent, for she was an Aussie; “slip under the chain cobber and join us!”

No. We couldn’t, could we? We are British, we queue. It’s a national past time. No we couldn’t!

We did! Only to hear the tuts of disdain from some clearly British tourists who were now behind us. Sorry.

Anyway, to save boring you with all the details, we took the shuttle out towards the huge VAB, (Vehicle Assembly Building), where the Apollo Saturn V rockets were assembled, then rolled out to the launch pads on huge transporters in an upright position!

We also went out to a viewing platform, so we could see the many launch pads. We then got on another shuttle bus, to another building housing a full size mock up of a Saturn V rocket. Totally awesome! But then I am a bit nerdy.

Next stop, was back to the main complex and our 12:30 appointment to watch a fantastic 3D movie in the IMAX cinema.

Awesome again for me.

Mrs Dave fell asleep! In fact most of the ladies on our coach fell asleep, this was clearly a stop for the blokes.

And that was that I’m afraid. All a bit of a rush, but we had to press on to Miami Beach as some passengers, who were not over-nighting in Miami Beach, needed to get flights home. Also Suzanne and Ernie would be leaving us and going off to start their next tours.

The end was really in sight now.

In the next and final blog, it’s Miami Beach and home.


Click here for the final part of the Holiday Blog 2012