Our American Holiday 2012 – Part 9

And lo, the last part of the American Holiday blog begins.

We pick up where we left off, departing Kennedy Space Center. As I recall, we had to wait for one missing passenger. And it can only have been Miss Daisy! Although, apparently she was already on the bus and Suzanne must have missed her in the head count! So the German one is not infallible!

It’s about a 250 mile drive down the east coast of Florida, to get to Miami Beach and with a time limit set; we were not going to hang about. As I said last time, a few of the passengers onboard were not staying overnight with us in Miami Beach and were catching connecting flights elsewhere.

The drive down the coast was again mile upon mile of highway, but we had the wonderful scenery to view from our coach window. At one point we were driving alongside the massive Lake Okeechobee, and I ‘m sure everyone on board the coach, started singing in their heads, “Oh Okee Okee Chobee! Oh Okee Okee Chobee!”

There were no stops today to visit attractions; unless you call the truck stop come motorway services an attraction. They certainly did lovely panini’s!

The last couple of hours, rolling towards Miami were a pretty sad affair. Suzanne was carrying out her official duties as tour guide, ensuring we had our vouchers for the airport shuttle vans, for the next day. Making sure we had filled in our questionnaires. And gently reminding us about the obligatory tips for Ernie and herself. Not that we would begrudge them a single dime that they received in tips, as they had done sterling work for the two weeks they were hauling us around the States.

And whether you liked it or not the Fruity Fraulein came around the bus kissing us all and wishing us well.

Ernie touched our hearts also, when he announced on the tannoy that we were a really great bunch and he loved having us on board, and would even go so far as to say, that we were the best tour group he’s had the pleasure to know!! What a darling!

He did follow this up quite quickly, by saying that he would be telling the next group exactly the same thing!

Anyway, we pull into Miami Beach and to our last hotel. Some quick goodbyes to some passengers and to Suzanne and Ernie and we’re on our own, almost. The second tour guide, on bus number 2; Wesley, was still with us, which was a good job, as we needed him to help us book into the hotel!

The hotel was really nice, the rooms we were in were suites, so we had a kitchenette and a lounge and a well stocked mini-bar. Which stayed well stocked as I wasn’t paying those prices!

Luckily the hotel bar had a Happy Hour at 7pm, where certain drinks were just $1 each. Well, it would be rude not too.

I did take the opportunity of the computer in reception to check-in to our flight the next day, just to save time and make sure we had a good seat. Not as good a seat as some of our fellow passengers, who upgraded to Premium! Lucky devils.

After downing several rum & cokes. What? It was Happy Hour! We decided to wander off to find a restaurant to have supper. Well, we were slightly disappointed to find that after walking 4 or 5 blocks up from the hotel, there were very few restaurants and as the neighbourhood seemed to be going downhill rapidly, we decided to turn around and head back towards the hotel and look at the restaurants we had already passed.

This is when we bumped into 11 others from our group who were doing the same thing. After a quick discussion about the choice, we headed for the nearest restaurant and started causing chaos as we asked for “a table for 14 please!”

They were only too happy to oblige and we whiled away the next couple of hours eating and talking and drinking.

It is so nice to meet friendly people.

And so to bed, for our last night.

We woke after a small lie in, no early morning alarm call today! Our first priority was to get some packing done, and sort out clothes for the return journey.

However, packing aside, we were in Miami Beach! So, it would be wrong of us, not to actually go to the beach. So that is what we did, via Walgreens for some throat lozenges! Don’t ask. OK, do. Mrs Dave had a sore throat.

We didn’t stay long on the beach, just strolled along the water’s edge, did a little paddling and took a slow walk back towards the hotel, after washing the sand from our feet.

On the way back it started raining! What? Rain? In Miami? Afraid so.

Once back at the hotel, as we had negotiated an extra hour before we needed to check out, we decided to make the most of the facilities and go for a swim. The sun had decided to come back out, and it was gloriously hot.

Swim session done, it was back to the room, for showers and the all important weigh-in of the cases, to see if we’re under the limit.

Of course we would be, we haven’t bought that much, was the confident cry coming from the female side of the party.

How much!!!

Is that in KG’s?

What have you put in here?

Two of the three cases were over the limit, cue panic shuffling of the heavy clothes into Little Miss Dave’s case. She was well under the limit.

Anyway, we managed to equalise the load, but it would be close at the airport. I just hope our scales are slightly out in our favour.

After one more sweep of the room, to make sure we had everything, we closed the door on a hotel room for the last time this holiday.

We checked out at reception, who then secured our cases, as the shuttle to take us to the airport, was not due for another couple of hours. So enough time to grab some lunch. We wandered out of the hotel and found the nearest restaurant, a quick flick through the menu and we ordered, informing the kind waitress that we have a flight to catch, so don’t be too long, please.

We waited and our drinks arrived.

We waited and drunk our drinks.

We waited and kept looking to the door to see if our order was coming.

We waited.

We waited, and then Mrs Dave said, I can’t wait any longer and called a waiter over. “Where’s our food you half witted imbecilic moron!! We ordered ages ago and we said we had a flight to catch, so we really want our food NOW!!”

Is what she said in her head, in reality she asked, “Can you check our order please, we need to catch a flight. Thank you. Most kind”.

Our food appeared and we scoffed it down quick, waving for the bill with a mouthful of salad! We paid and scarpered, getting back to the hotel just in time to get the cases and mingle in the lobby with others in the party, who were on the same flight as us.

Within minutes a man from the shuttle company appeared and asked for those on the 2:30pm shuttle, (although he was early!).

This is where the fun begins.

It was a nine seater shuttle. So that’s us three. Laurence & Gill. Paula & Jen. Sarah & Amy. Jenny & Jan.

Hold on that’s eleven!

Laurence & Gill and Paula & Jen, had already got in, Mrs Dave , Little Miss Dave and I popped our cases in the boot, and got in too.

Jenny. (That’s mad Jenny, her of the disappearing walking stick), is trying to get in. Paula and Jen don’t want her in the back seat with them, they were saving the last two seats for Sarah and Amy.

The driver is behind Jenny, heaving her up into the van. Paula is pushing her out again. Jenny is going red in the face. And we’re counting seats.

Hold on we say. There are 11 of us and only nine seats. What’s going on!

The driver lets Jenny slip back out of the van and she collapses against the door in a flustered heap!

“What?” says the driver?

“We have the too many peoples?” Yes, he was a bit foreign.

Mrs Dave takes charge and says; “have you got names on that list? If so, call them out!”

The driver dutifully calls out the names and we answer in turn. All except Jenny and Jan.

“See?” Paula shouts! “We said it wasn’t you, now get out!”

Jenny remonstrates and says, this isn’t right, where’s my shuttle then? It’s too late, the cases are in, the doors are shut and Jenny and Jan are left on the pavement as we drive off. I shout “don’t forget to write!” as we pull away. We turn into the street and as we do, we see another shuttle van turn up, so don’t worry, Jenny and Jan were safe.

I know it’s not nice to laugh at the misfortune of others, but we giggled all the way to the airport!

Once at the airport we had to run the gauntlet of the cases being checked in. Will they be over weight? Will they be under? Oh the tension. Oh the worry. Oh who cares?!

They were just under.

It was then off through security and into Departures. When we had got to our gate it was time to relax and speculate as to where Jenny had got to. We all sat together and took it in turns to watch each other’s bags, as we went off to spend the last of our American cash.

As we were chatting away, somebody said they thought they had seen Jenny, in a wheelchair! How we roared, if it were to be true!

I started mimicking Jenny, pretending I was in a wheelchair propelling myself through the Departure Lounge, shouting “look at me! Who’s laughing now suckers!”

Just as I did this, out the corner of my eye, I saw a wheelchair being pushed through the centre of the aisle. It can’t be, is it?

The laughter stops, and we look up to see the now regal looking Jenny, being pushed right up to the departure gate. I swear she waved like the Queen as she went by.

When she got out of ear shot, we burst out laughing again! You had to be there really.

And that was that. An uneventful flight home and we were back in Blighty. As we slowly traipsed from the ‘plane, we passed through the upgraded passengers section and saw Jenny and Jan. She looked up smiled and said; she had to wait for her chariot to arrive to take her off. We smiled, said goodbye and sniggered all the way down the tunnel into the terminal.

We met up with the others by the luggage carousel, they immediately asked if we had seen Jenny and I said, she’ll be coming through those black strips of plastic soon, spinning around the luggage carousel, like the Waltzer at the fair, shouting; “Jan, Jan!! Get me off here!” As she disappears around for the third time!

And there we have it. Another American holiday done and dusted.

Please forgive the seemingly egotistical nature of these blogs, but in the years to come, when the memory fades, we’ll have a record of what we did, where we went and who we met.

I hope people have enjoyed reading them, as much as I have enjoyed writing them.

If you have enjoyed them then you’ll enjoy my book!! Which I haven’t written yet, maybe one day.

Thank you.

**** Footnote - added 3rd August 2014 ****

Two years to the day since embarking on our wonderful holiday to the USA '12, eight of the members of the tour got back together for a mini reunion in London. Brian and June came all the way from Australia! Not for the reunion, they were on a tour of Europe, with a cruise and several mini breaks, including a stop off in England. Having heard of their impending visit, Amy and Sarah drummed up some enthusiasm and enlisted the support of Paula and Jenny, along with Denise and myself.

So we descended upon our nation’s capital and took in some sights; Leicester Square, Convent Garden, where we met up with the other girls. We then tackled the Underground and the massively expensive toilets! Finally meeting Brian and June, along with two more of their Aussie friends at Westminster, where we boarded a Thames cruise down to Greenwich and back.

It was a wonderful day for a cruise, with ample time to reminisce about our USA holiday and to catch up on what we have been doing in the intervening 24 months.

We dropped the Aussie’s off at Tower Bridge, as they had another function to attend and we (Jenny, Paula, Sarah, Amy, Denise and myself) headed back to Westminster, where we parted company after a marvellous time together.

Days like today just show how special relationships can be and how friendships can be forged, when like-minded people are put together. It is something very special and endearing and will add to the wonderful memories we already have.

Our American Holiday 2012 – Part 8

We awake on Day 13 of our holiday, the penultimate day, a day tinged with a little sadness, as the end is insight. That sadness, dissolves quite quickly as we remember it’s another complimentary breakfast day! As has been the case in some of the other hotels providing a free breakfast, we were shoved into a room of insufficient size, with clearly an inadequate number of chairs and tables! And as the room we were in, doubled as the hotel bar, we found ourselves having to perch precariously on three barstools, which is not as easy as it sounds when you’re trying to balance 2 hard boiled eggs, a muffin, a croissant, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee! The breakfast seemed to be a bit of an eclectic mix!

At one point as I was helping myself to another glass of orange juice. (It’s free! Get it down yer!!) As I was walking away, I had a tap on my shoulder (should that be a faucet?) Anyway, this young (teenage) Dutch girl, attracts my attention with a tap on my shoulder, followed by, in her best English; “Canz youm elp me pleeze?” I turn, to see her forlorn face, tortured by her predicament. Her eyes leave mine and she glances down toward the orange juice dispenser, which is now issuing forth gallons of juice.

The vitamin C fuelled tsunami has already overwhelmed the drip tray and is forming rivers of orange across the table. Quick as a flash, I ascertain the nature of the problem; calculate the requirements to resolve the issue in my head, and in one swift, deft and calm movement, I reach out my hand and flick the tap to the ‘off’ position.

She whispers sweetly “zank you” and walks away, leaving me looking very guilty by a small ocean of orange juice. I beat a hasty retreat, whilst pointing and tutting in the direction of the mess, saying; “some people”!

Free breakfast devoured, we hand our keys in at reception and walk out to the coach, to see where we are sitting today. Suzanne rotates us around the coach you see? So we all get a chance to be near the front, or back and we get a chance to chat to new people. It’s a good way to mix us up and meet our fellow passengers.

Talking of our fellow passengers, isn’t it about time we talked about some others? We’ve had Miss Daisy and her permanent look of surprise. We’ve had the legends; Ernie and Suzanne. And the hapless Jenny and Jan.

I have a confession to make here. At the start of the journey, before we get to know everyone’s names, I apply nicknames to certain people; the problem is these nicknames sometimes stick. For instance, there was a lovely couple, who we didn’t really start talking to until we were into the second week. However, on Day 1, it was remarked upon that the husband looked very much like Greg Wallace, that chap off Masterchef. Well that name stuck! And it was always Greg, even when we knew his name was Lawrence! Sorry Lawrence!

Worst still, one of my favourite couples from the whole holiday were Paula and her friend; Jen. Now Paula was an absolute blast! So very funny, with a cutting wit. We loved her. (And if you’re reading this Paula, we still love you! And keep in touch.)

Anyway, Paula was nameless to start, but I’m sorry for Jen, her nickname in the first few days, was; “Fanny Pack”!

Jen wore that fashion faux pas, a bum bag. Some ladies suit a waist mounted bag. Jen did not. Bless her. And as the bum bag in America, is called a fanny pack, that is what Jen was called for the first week!

Sorry Jen!

Anyway, back to the coach! Today’s morning stop was to be the best stop ever! Sorry, I have to be biased here, but our trip from Orlando to our next hotel in Miami Beach was to be bridged by a few hours at the Kennedy Space Center! Awesome as our American cousins would say!

Now, I could wax lyrical about Kennedy all day, but I won’t. I will say it was my highlight, just being able to see the vastness of the area where all those historic Mercury, Gemini, Apollo and shuttle missions started was totally amazing. My flabber has never been so gasted!

I will summarise the best bits of Kennedy for you, as we had a lot to pack into a short space of time. On arrival, Suzanne dutifully got the tickets and ushered us into the entrance, where we were scanned, checked and patted down, the complex is still a government establishment after all. Once inside Suzanne explained that we have been booked into a 12:30 screening of a film in the amazing 3D IMAX theatre, so we need to back before then. Also, we were booked to take a ride in the Space Shuttle Launch Experience simulator! Which was our first port of call. In between times we were free to tour the vast complex, using the shuttle buses that Kennedy lay on.

Off to the Space Shuttle Launch Experience simulator we all trot. The first inkling that this was a proper simulator was the requirement to put all your loose belongings into lockers. Cue a lot of sunglasses, cameras, handbags, hats and false limbs being deposited. Next stop as we shuffled through, was the now obligatory photo stop. This time a green screen background and a quick “smile” was all that was required and we shuffled on through, wondering how much change out of $30 there would be, if we wanted to buy all 3 photo’s!

Queueing did not take too much time and soon we were going through the pre-ride video presentations, starring previous shuttle astronauts, who said that the simulator was the closest thing to reality you’d get on earth!

Essentially, the way the simulator works is, we are loaded into the shuttle cargo hold 60 to 80 people at a time and get strapped in! And this is what we did, we line up behind a row of doors and as they swing open, we step inside to board the shuttle. We take our seats and get instructions to fasten our seat belts, the doors close and the large monitors in front burst into life. Voices crackle on the radio, a countdown commences, noises in the background emanate from around us and……..

………..the doors open again and a red faced attendant says, can we remain seated, as there’s been a technical hitch!
No! It’s Challenger all over again!

There is a lot of activity and radio contact going on, the outer doors open, to reveal the next lot of passengers waiting to “take off”.

I shout through the open doors; “HELP! HELP! We’re trapped! The cabin is depressurising! Get us out!!”

I didn’t, but I thought it and I really wish that I had shouted out!

Anyway, more mumbled instructions on the radios and I’m sure someone said; “have you tried turning it off and on again?”

The monitors flick into life and a progress bar appears, followed closely by “Loading Microsoft Windows XP”.

Second time lucky and we’re off. We get talked through the procedure by ex-astronauts on one screen, view the launch pad on another and the whole ‘shuttle’ rocks backwards as we are tilted into the vertical launch position. We are now on our backs, facing skyward, the lights dim; the countdown nears zero and the command for main engine start echoes across the radio. At this point the gentle hum and vibration increases and we are literally shaken as if we were hanging atop a huge washing machine going into the worst unbalanced spin-cycle imaginable! The whole shuttle is shaking and pulsating, the blast as the engines kick in is deafening! We’re off and have cleared the tower! Looking at the people strapped into the row in front, their heads are banging away at the head rest, being shaken half to death!

We “reach” the required distance down range and jettison the Solid Rocket Boosters and the violent shaking eases off. We progress through our shortened journey into orbit and ease back to a horizontal position and we begin our orbit, at which point the cargo bay doors above us open, to reveal a starry sky. A extremely nice view indeed.

We descend back to earth very quickly; well they shut the cargo bay doors and turn the lights back on. What a fantastic ride.

Departing from the Space Shuttle Launch Experience simulator, we have to exit through gift shop!!
What a surprise!
We relent and buy all photo’s for $25 and I pick up a t-shirt and baseball cap that were on offer!

We nonchalantly exit the gift shop to pick our bits up from the lockers, when we discover Suzanne loitering outside.

“Come on!” she says, “schnell, schnell!”

“You needz to get zee move on, get onz the tour bus, aww you vill not make zee IMAX! SCHNELL!”

We “schnell” and join the queue for the shuttle buses, which will take us out towards the other parts of the complex. The queue takes the form of zig-zag walkways and we zig and then zag up and down, until we align with a few other members of our coach, who are just zigging, as we are zagging. On e of them whispers in an Australian accent, for she was an Aussie; “slip under the chain cobber and join us!”

No. We couldn’t, could we? We are British, we queue. It’s a national past time. No we couldn’t!

We did! Only to hear the tuts of disdain from some clearly British tourists who were now behind us. Sorry.

Anyway, to save boring you with all the details, we took the shuttle out towards the huge VAB, (Vehicle Assembly Building), where the Apollo Saturn V rockets were assembled, then rolled out to the launch pads on huge transporters in an upright position!

We also went out to a viewing platform, so we could see the many launch pads. We then got on another shuttle bus, to another building housing a full size mock up of a Saturn V rocket. Totally awesome! But then I am a bit nerdy.

Next stop, was back to the main complex and our 12:30 appointment to watch a fantastic 3D movie in the IMAX cinema.

Awesome again for me.

Mrs Dave fell asleep! In fact most of the ladies on our coach fell asleep, this was clearly a stop for the blokes.

And that was that I’m afraid. All a bit of a rush, but we had to press on to Miami Beach as some passengers, who were not over-nighting in Miami Beach, needed to get flights home. Also Suzanne and Ernie would be leaving us and going off to start their next tours.

The end was really in sight now.

In the next and final blog, it’s Miami Beach and home.


Click here for the final part of the Holiday Blog 2012

Our American Holiday 2012 – Part 7

Time for some more musings on America. We left it last time with our arrival in Orlando. And according to my hand written notes, ”I have now totally lost track of the date and time! With no idea where we are or where have been!”

Clearly this is a misnomer, as I know full well that we are now in Orlando, as we have to go out for the Arabian Nights show that we booked earlier in the week.

Before then, I need to fill in some detail and re-tell a tale of damp towels and raised eye brows!

Orlando obviously means a trip to a theme park or two and as we had booked tickets for the Universal Orlando Resort theme parks, before we left the UK, we needed to arrange transport to get there from our hotel. (This was for the next day).

We had discussed the issue with Suzanne, who had suggested one firm, that had a booking desk in the hotel reception, or the hotel itself provided a limited shuttle service, each costing various amounts.

There seemed to be reluctance on Suzanne’s part to be helpful, whether that was because we hadn’t booked trips via her and lost her some commission, or she was just not bothered at that point in time, we were not sure, but we thought, heck just go to reception and ask, what’s the worst that can happen?

So, we asked the nice lady at reception. And here is another prime example of what I love about America, she was friendly, chatty, charming and had a genuine concern to help us out. She said we could use the firm here who provide a great service, but can be pricey. You could use the hotel shuttle, it’s cheaper, doesn’t run regularly and the drop off points are not that good.

She noted that we booked through Virgin, and said; “why not ask the Universal Studios rep?” and she indicated a vacant desk next to reception. “They will take you from door to door, with regular pickups and as you booked through Virgin, it will cost you nothing.”

“Nothing?” was the chorused response.

“Yea, sure. Just pop back first thing tomorrow, when the rep. is back and book, couldn’t be easier, have a nice day”

So that’s what we did.

Anyway, back to the Arabian Nights trip. As I say, we arrived at the hotel at 5:30pm, sorted out our transport for the next day and got showered and changed, in double quick time, as all those who had booked for the Arabian Nights show, needed to be on the coach by 7pm for the drive up to Kissimmee.

So, 7pm comes around and everybody has had a quick wash and brush up, and popped on their best going out gear. We board the coach, the air full of Brut 33, Charlie and Tesco Value Antiperspirant.

Suzanne carries out the obligatory head count.

“Mmmmm. Vee are zee vun short”

She counts again, just to be sure. And double checks the list.

“ Ya, vee are zee vun short!”

“It’s that trouble maker Meez Daizy!”

You may recall Miss Daisy, her of the eye brows?

Anyway, time is getting on. Ernie pulls the coach out of the parking lot and round to the front of the hotel, near reception. Suzanne jumps off and runs (waddles) into reception to check to see if our stray member is waiting there.

A few minutes pass and Suzanne reappears, shaking her head, boards the bus and shouts; “Drive on Ernie!”

As we pull out of the hotel, a lone wet and bedraggled figure appears from reception, wrapped in towels, hair wet and dishevelled with blurred eye brows, in a state of shock and / or surprise.

Miss Daisy clearly thought she had time for a quick swim. She was wrong. We drive off and Miss Daisy goes to dry off.

Anyway, I know you have been asking, what is this Arabian Nights show all about? Well, you may ask, I have no idea. Something to do with horses, but the main point is, it comes with dinner and unlimited drinks!

“Alcoholic?”

Yes Dave, alcoholic.

“Get in!”

It actually transpires that the show is a rather cheesy Disney style panto on horseback. Following an Arabian story, of Princesses and Princes and horses and baddies and goodies and fluffy teddies and fairies and pwetty little flopsy wopsy bunnies and things……….

Sorry drifted off then!

It was pretty dire. The horses were good. The unlimited drinks were better.

The choice of food wasn’t great. The mashed potato was clearly microwaved. The vegetables were OK. And the steak was a little dry. Probably a disappointing participant from last nights’ show!

Top of the bill tonight, top of the menu tomorrow!

The best part really was being out with all the gang from the bus, in our own box, with waiter service, topping up your glass at every opportunity. Very posh it was. And a good laugh.

After the obligatory “exit through gift shop” it was all back on the bus, for the journey back to the hotel. I don’t recall much of the journey back, clearly too much of the California Blush rosé wine!!

We awake the next morning early, no wakeup call today, but we need to book the shuttle bus and take full advantage of the free breakfast, and get going to theme parks!

The shuttle picked us up right outside the hotel and dropped us right outside the theme park, a short walk, well glide, down the moving pavement and we were there. A quick debate with the ticket office, as we only had a receipt and had to exchange this for tickets. We should also have had an early pass, to get in before the crowds, but it wasn’t on the receipt, so we had to join the queue. Heyho.

We had a two park ticket, first we went into Islands of Adventure and if we had time it was just next door to Universal Studios.

This was really Little Miss Dave’s day, as she was desperate to get to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, so that was the first port of call.

And it was well worth the wait, judging by our first sight of it. The way they have recreated Hogsmeade and Hogwarts is magnificent. The attention to detail is brilliant and it does feel you are walking around in Harry’s world, if you ignore the thousands upon thousands of other tourists doing exactly the same thing!

Although the scenery and recreation of Hogwarts is totally brilliant, there are only three rides. One mini roller coaster; “The Flight of the Hippogriff”. Which is a safe bet; even I don’t mind going on one like that.

One massive roller coaster, called the “Dragon Challenge”, which is actually two rides in one and goes upside down and round and round and….

“You can forget that! You’ll never get me on that thing!”

And finally, there’s “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey”, which is walking through Hogwarts and ending up on a ride, which is part real and part simulation. And a very real queue of 90 minutes to get on!

Which is what we did, we queued and queued and queued, until we got inside, which wasn’t even the start of the ride! It was just the section where you have to pop your belongings into a locker, but it was bedlam! There were would-be wizards all over the place, with people actually joining the queue by entering through the gift shop!!

Noooo! Get it right! It’s EXIT through gift shop!

This was all too much for Mrs Dave to bear and she did a runner with all our bags, saying it was stupid and badly organised! Stopping only to punch the nearest attendant in the face!

Fair enough, Little Miss Dave and I carried on queuing, for another 40 minutes!!

Was it worth it? Well, I thought so; it was a fantastically put together ride, mixing simulation with live action. Little Miss Dave wasn't so sure. Still she managed to get to Hogwarts, after years of nagging.

Have I mentioned that it was hot in Orlando?

It was hot in Orlando. So we made sure we kept drinking, which reminds me, Little Miss Dave got herself a Butterbeer before we got on the ride. It was a rather bizarre concoction, laden with sugar and E numbers; still it kept the kids happy and active!

From the slightly disappointing Wizarding World of Harry Potter, we ventured into the next zone, which was the Toon Lagoon which contained cartoon themed rides.

By this time we were so hot we headed for a water ride, in the hope that it would be a chance to cool off, a little splash of water here or there. We queued for the Popeye & Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges ride.

A circular boat that travelled gently around the flowing waters, with the occasional splash maybe.

Who am I kidding? We got absolutely drenched! Head to toe soaked!

However, it did the trick and the hot and flustered, were now cool and damp, if somewhat bedraggled.

After a quick stop for a munch on a huge turkey leg, we were off again. The next stop was the Jurassic Park River Adventure. Now this was a huge boat that drifted off around Jurassic Park, recreating the film, which was really well done. Then your boat heads into a large warehouse affair and sirens start wailing, lights start flashing and the boat starts going uphill, slowly and surely, in the dark.

Going uphill, a long way uphill, can mean only one thing! At some point, it’s going to come down!

The boat levelled out, a huge dinosaur appeared from nowhere, and roared as we disappeared down a very steep watery hill, splashing out into bright sunshine, with plumes of water flying all over the place. Soaked again.

We continued around Islands of Adventure, soaking in the atmosphere (do you get it? Soaking? Oh please yourself!)

We next headed out of the park and into Universal Studios, to see what rides we could go on. Well, there was no queue for Woody Woodpecker's Nuthouse Coaster, so we got straight on, laughed so much as we whizzed around this little family coaster, that we jumped off at the end and went straight back to the start to do it again!

Brilliant!

We went on the ET Adventure, this must have been mind blowing in the 80’s. 30 years on, it’s not so good.

We also queued for The Simpsons ride, which was a simulator, so Mrs Dave dropped out again and decided to trawl the gift shops. Whilst queuing for the Simpsons ride, the weather turned and a storm blew up from nowhere. Wind, thunder, lightning and rain, lots of rain. Still Little Miss Dave and I, were undercover, so we were OK. The Simpsons ride was brilliant!

After the ride, we tried to make our way out of the park, dashing between shops and shelters, trying not to get soaked for a third time that day.

We eventually got near to the park exit and the Hard Rock Café, where we thought we would eat before catching the shuttle back to the hotel.

Once inside, we were ushered through to the restaurant, not before we were lined up against a wall, handed a guitar and told to smile. Several flash bulbs went off in our face and we thought, that’ll be another $25 photo being offered to us later!

Well, after two soakings and running around a theme park, through a storm, the outcome of the photo was truly awful.

Still the food was brilliant and the atmosphere in the Hard Rock Café is something to experience.

We shuttled our way back to the hotel, arriving back at about 8pm. I went straight to the room and hit the shower.

Mrs Dave and Little Miss Dave popped into the hotel gift shop for 5 minutes, so I was told. Eventually they turned up about an hour and a half later, after visiting 2 or 3 gift shops and trying to spot alligators in the crazy golf course. You had to be there.

Next stop? God knows! Where are we? 


Click here for Part 8

Our American Holiday 2012 – Part 6

From New Orleans we head towards another state; Florida and our next stop, which will be Pensacola. Not such a long trip this time, a mere 200 odd miles.

Before I start to describe our day, let us just stop and have a few words about some more of the characters on the coach. We know a bit about Miss Daisy, her of the eyebrows, (more from her in Orlando).

We know Suzanne and Ernie, so who else were on board the coach?

In my experience of these coach tours, you get similar groups or types of people. You have the “lone travellers”. You have the “girls together”, now this can be the young single girls, on holiday together. Or the older girls who have ditched their husbands and ran off to America with the credit cards.

You have the older couples who do this thing regularly.

The young couples who maybe on their first holiday together.

Then there’s the family of three (that’s us!)

So, I’ll pick on a “girls together” pairing.

These were older girls (ladies). Jenny and Jan. Now it was never made clear if Jan was Jenny’s carer or not!

Jenny walked with a stick when she arrived at the first hotel.

Jenny liked to talk. Jan was quiet.

Jenny liked to complain. Jan kept quiet.

To be fair, Jenny was really quite nice at the start, chatty and enthusiastic. However, we did notice that the stick went after a few days.

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! It’s a miracle! Or maybe she thought fraudulent claims for disability were undetectable whilst in America. (I must write to the DSS).

Did I say Jenny liked to complain? Oh yes. She would have a go at Ernie to say that the coach was too cold with the air conditioning on. She would also say if it was too warm when it was off.

She would scoot up and down the aisle of the coach quite quickly for one with “ailments”. And if she wanted to get off the bus first, she would make a dash for the door, whether you wanted to get up or not.

Time has clouded my memory somewhat, so I cannot remember any specific funny moments, apart from one. And that was on the last day of the holiday, but as we haven’t got to that point, you’ll have to wait!!

Talking of our fellow passengers, there was another couple on the coach. They were a French couple; I never heard them say a word.

Anyway, back to the tour. On the way to Pensacola we stopped off at Bellingrath Gardens,  a beautiful home and gardens that belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Walter Bellingrath.

Walter Bellingrath made his fortune by bottling Coca Cola and having the sole franchise for this, in the Mobile area. (Bellingrath Gardens being situated in Mobile, Alabama). It is an absolutely stunning garden, with many different features and styles. Certainly one of my highlights of the holiday. Check out their website and take a look. We just about managed to squeeze in a good look around most of the garden and look around the house, which is lovely also, decorated in 1930’s style.

We had to wolf down some lunch, as time was pressing (isn’t it always?) and we had to get back on the coach, which was a real shame, we really could have done with another couple of hours there.

Anyway, everyone back on the coach. When we set off, Suzanne gets on the microphone and announces that after every tour of Bellingrath, they are given a souvenir book to raffle off amongst the passengers. So a bag came round full of bits of paper with numbers on and we dutifully take one and pass the bag on.

Suzanne then announces the number she had written down at random, at the start and lo and behold, it’s me! I win the raffle!! I never win anything; this is a big deal for me, so shush!

Suzanne also announces that primarily the Bellingrath stop is for the ladies, so just to appease the men of the coach, she has arranged another quick stop, of just 30 minutes at the Battleship Park at Mobile Bay! We only got to look around the parking lot, but there are tanks and aeroplanes parked all around and you can see the USS Alabama moored on the dockside. It was a really great stop and standing underneath the wings of a B52 bomber was awesome.

From Mobile Bay we travel off towards Pensacola, where we head to the hotel, before being driven down to the beach for a dip in the Gulf of Mexico!

Pensacola Beach is stunning. Bright white sand, lapped by the crystal clear waters of the Gulf of Mexico. We had two choices, one coach would pick up at 6pm and the other would pick up at 8pm, after that you’re on your own. As it was around 4:30pm, we thought an hour and a half on the beach wouldn’t do it justice. So, we plumped for the late departure.

We spread out our towels (stolen from the hotel) and enjoyed the sunshine.

Jenny was with us and was straight out into the healing waters, almost skipping gaily, without her stick. Bless her.

I watched the bags, I know my place. Anyway, I’m not a fan of sea swimming. Having said that, the lure of that cool water after the heat of the sun was too much of a temptation, so I did dive in! When I say dive, I obviously mean stroll, with trouser legs rolled up, string vest on and knotted hankie upon my balding bonce. I am British after all.

After a couple of hours on the beach, we gathered up our things and decided to grab a bite to eat and take a stroll around, before jumping on the coach. Now the journey back to the hotel was a right laugh, thanks to Ernie!  He put the radio on and was skipping through the channels, trying to find songs to sing along to. The Dutch contingent, who were normally on the second coach had joined us for the late return to the hotel and were singing Dutch songs, that were really funny, if you were Dutch. Ernie would find a song he liked and turn the radio up and start singing along, flashing the interior lights of the coach, like some cheap disco.

Such are the larks of the coach holiday.

We wake in our Pensacola hotel and jostle for the complimentary breakfast, almost playing musical chairs to find somewhere to sit. There are never enough tables. Still the breakfast is free, so eat up!

We depart Pensacola and head deeper into Florida, our destination; the International Palms Resort and Conference Center, Orlando. Sounds grand doesn’t it?

The journey from Pensacola to Orlando is  another long old haul, 450 miles, 8 hours of driving and a different time zone. (Central Daylight Time back to Eastern Daylight Time).

Lunch was provided by Sonny’s Real Pit Bar-B-Q in Lake City. More awesome food. Totally delicious and as always great service.

We arrive in Orlando at 5:30pm, but there’s no time to rest, we need to be out again at 7pm, to catch the coach, for the Arabian Nights show!

More of that, in the next blog!


Click here for Part 7