Our Italian Holiday 2016 - Part 1

So here we are yet again, with another holiday blog. If you have read some of the previous holiday blogs then you will know that these are only written for prosperity and maybe a little light amusement. They are not a narcissistic view of our life and what we get up to, but an understated memoir, that reflects our holidays and provides information and hopefully some fun.
So dear reader, read on.

Day 1 - Saturday 17th September 2016

This year's holiday is another coach affair. We like them, although this is going to be an overnight run from England all the way to Italy! Over 24 hours on a coach, this is clearly not for the fainthearted!

Normally our feeder coach is a minibus which then takes us to a dreary motorway services somewhere, where we swap to a larger coach. Not this year, oh no! We're sat, at the crack of dawn, at out local bus terminal, when this huge Mercedes Grand Tourer luxury coach pulls up! So we have a very comfortable start. When we board the coach, it already contains some passengers - mainly couples - mainly old, so the casual racism and xenophobia start early!

First stop is Swindon, not the most inspiring architecture as we pull in to the town centre bus station. Another few couples board, again mainly old, which makes me feel younger. The next stop is Chievely services - the glamour never starts!

And so down to Dover we go, picking up in Reading, Bracknell and Clacket Lane services, on the way. We stop at Hythe services; "Stop 24" it is called, where a whole fleet of coaches pull in, drop off their passengers, swap suitcases, as passengers wait inside the services for their coach to be called. They load up again, with their requisite passengers destined for sunnier European climes. It is a military operation and one that works very well.
It is the ferry port we head for, rather than the tunnel, which we have used before. The ferry was awash with aging passengers, I wasn't certain if we were sailing to Calais or Lourdes! If you took a deep breath in, your nostrils filled with the aroma of the salty sea air, Steradent and Werthers Originals!

Next stop Calais and the overnight run to Lake Garda. The rest of Saturday was taken up with a steady journey through the night and through France, stopping every few hours for a toilet stop and leg stretch. Let me tell you, there's never a lot going on in French motorway services at three in the morning!


Day 2 - Sunday 18 September 2016

We awake somewhat bleary eyed and stiff, to find ourselves in Switzerland and another service station. However, this one is selling over-priced breakfast! The chef on duty spots us and must know we are English - (how can they tell?) - as he immediately points to the bacon and eggs - we nod enthusiastically and he cooks our breakfast there and then. A nice, albeit expensive start to the day.
As we travel through Switzerland and then northern Italy the scenery changes - that is, when we are not driving through mile after mile of tunnels! Fields and industrial parks give way to majestic mountains soaring up in all directions, vineyards with row after row of symmetrically trained vines, nestle in valley floors and lower mountain slopes. Plus, of course lakes. We pass Maggiore, Como and then Lake Garda itself, our home for a week.

We arrive at the hotel in the late morning and as normal check-in is not until 2pm, we leave our cases for the porters to take to our rooms and securely stored any hand luggage, so we could go off and explore for a couple of hours. We walk into Arco town centre for lunch and test our Italian linguistic skills on the waiting staff, white wine is easy, for the rest we just point at the pictures!
After lunch we strolled back to the hotel and spent the next few hours unpacking and sleeping. Coach travel wears you out!


Travellers Tips, For Your Coach Trips

Here's our first handy guide for when you want to travel by coach.

You must try to get on with your fellow passengers, especially if you are going to be spending the whole duration of the holiday with them!
Noise levels. It is expected that you will be chatting on the coach, it's natural, but do not be too loud. Respect your fellow passengers, especially those around you. For example, your seat table is there for your convenience, but it is attached to the seat in front, when you clap it back up with the force of a small explosion, give a thought for the fellow passenger in front, who has just nearly choked on a Murray Mint! Ease the table up and down gently.

It's annoying when in a confined space, someone is coughing or sneezing, it annoys you doesn't it? Remember this when you do it. Constantly. Behind me. Annoying me stupid!

Also, if you mumble or hum or even start singing - to yourself - you will be regarded as something a tad special, so don't be surprised if you are avoided for the rest of the holiday.

Finally, do take advantage of all the toilet stops available, they are not just for the toilet, you can stretch your legs, have a quick puff on a cigarette or maybe surreptitiously, ease out any wind you may have. Farting on a coach is the biggest faux pas. No one wants to smell your eggy pumps, wafting down the aisle. You have been warned! 


Click for Part 2