Chris Difford Goes Around the Houses

Chris Difford Goes Around the Houses

As you will probably know, if you are a Squeeze fan, Chris Difford embarked upon a solo project this year (2016), in between touring with Squeeze and various other commitments. The name of the project is Fancy Pants (A Play for Today), along with Boo Hewerdine, Chris has written 23 songs for the album.

Chris looked to crowd fund the project via the Pledge Music website. Amongst the items that you could pledge for were the normal CDs, digital downloads etc. but you could also pledge for a paperweight, one of Chris’ shoes, some pants, a song written for you or a house gig. All very special in their own way and a great way to support the fine Mr Difford in his latest solo venture.

Now, there are various social media outlets, where Squeeze is discussed, by  like-minded individuals, who like nothing more than to sing the praises of Squeeze and all of its members. It was in one such conversation that the thought of Chris Difford playing a gig, in your own front room, was raised and discussed and wondered over.

“Wouldn’t it be amazing?”

“I’d love to do that!”

“It’d be great – a real once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“… but it would never happen…….”

Those were the things I said, those were the things a lot of my social media friends said. The thoughts of Chris Difford doing a house gig, to a small band of loyal fans; amazing! It bought smiles to our respective faces, as we dreamed our dreams away.

Until one day, not long after the pledges were made available, I was contacted privately by Shirley. Shirley and her husband Dave are avid music fans and one of the nicest couples that I had never met. However, Shirley had a dilemma. Dave had offered his wife, for her up and coming birthday, the chance to be the recipient of a Chris Difford house gig!
Wow! Dream come true time but…….

Shirley didn’t think they had the room to host a gig, living as they do in a small house in North Wales. This is where I come in. Would I host the gig, Shirley asked, in my slightly bigger house? My jaw dropped, I was dumbfounded. Could we do it? Should we do it? Is this real? Before those questions had formulated in my mind, my fingers had typed the word “yes”. That was settled then. I just had to tell my wife what I had done!

To be fair, my wife Denise took it in her stride. She knows that Chris Difford is an idol of mine; she also knew that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity *. She was also acutely aware that we were opening our house to a bunch of complete strangers! Never-the-less the ball was rolling. Several discussions then ensued as dates were emailed back and forth from organiser and financier; Dave, to artist; Chris and to host; me!

Soon November the 12^th 2016 was earmarked as D (ifford) Day. Next the guest list was formulated; this was Shirley’s domain, having to decide who could make the gig; should it be 6 guests? No 8, what about 10. 10 it is.

Our conversations had transferred from Facebook and Twitter to actual telephone calls and Shirley asked if I was happy with the arrangements.
Happy? I was ecstatic!

“…. And 12 is not too many?”

“12?”

“Yes, a couple more have confirmed – that’s OK isn’t it?”

It was more than OK – it could have been twelve hundred – the bottom line was; the enigmatic, charming, lyrical genius that we politely call Mr Difford was going to be sat in my lounge, with guitar, for our private entertainment. Those thoughts, although true, never seemed to go beyond a dream, however many times it was discussed and however many days passed by, the reality did not sink in.

Until the day itself.

Now here is the most beautiful thing about this whole event, as the day of the gig came ever closer we were discussing, online, things like; transport, hotels, parking, arrival times, food, drink and meeting up for the first time! Yes, the thing that surprises a lot of people I tell about this wonderful day, and I do try to tell everybody I meet! The thing that pleases them most is that we, a group of strangers, actually get together for the first time and we get on as if we had known each other for years. It warms the old cockles, that’s for sure.

On the day before the main event half of the ‘House Gig’ audience met for a meal, so it was a little ice breaker, but to be honest there was no ice to break – it was if eight lifelong friends were sitting around the dining table. Dave and Shirley. Pete and Jan. (These four actually know each other and have been friends for years, so we cheated a little). Myself and Denise. Then Claudia and Pat, who flew in from America.

Oh, didn’t I say that?

Yes, we had a transatlantic flight for two guests! And they are a couple of the loveliest ladies you could ever meet.

I mean, some Americans…….. (that sounds familiar).

Enough of this talk, let us get to the main event. Saturday night arrives and the doorbell starts ringing from 6 o’clock. First to arrive are Stephen and Rob, again we have never met before but this joint love of music, Squeeze in particular, puts us at our ease. The magic of the evening ahead means there are a lot of positive feelings in the air. Pat and Claudia are hot on Stephen and Rob’s heels and are duly introduced. Denise manages to converse and juggle the vast quantity of food she is laying out on the dining room table. Dave, Shirley, Pete and Jan arrive and the lounge is getting busier. Last but not least Tami and Diane bowl up in a flurry of expectant giggles and broadest of broad smiles. It is truly wonderful.

That dream I mentioned earlier is merging into reality.

Everyone is offered food and drinks; some cannot face food, their stomachs churning with nervous excitement and anticipation. Dave’s phone buzzes in his pocket - a message from Chris! He’ll be here around quarter to eight! Hearts start to beat a little faster, but the conversations continue. The minutes tick by, pictures of Mr Difford slide across the TV screen to a soundtrack of some his solo songs. There are laughs a plenty, but also nervous glances. Dave’s phone rings! It is the man himself, he is outside, but doesn’t know where we are. I go outside and position myself on the end of the drive and look up the road, a black Audi starts up and turns to face me. It drives past, stops and the reversing lights flash on. I instinctively start waving my arms slowly, beckoning the driver to come straight back. The thought that I am backing Chris Difford onto my drive is not lost on me as I wave slowly in an almost dreamlike state. The car stops, the door opens and sliding gracefully out of the driver’s seat is Mr Chris Difford. I maintain an upright position although my knees are like jelly. His hand comes straight out and we shake, quite literally in my case. He excuses his poor reversing, I say it was fine. We make small talk as we walk to the boot. The guitar case is there, he hands me a bag, the contents of which I wasn’t sure of. We discuss music stands and chairs, as the boot slowly shuts, with a grace and poise that emulates the man standing beside me. Dave appears from the side of the house and introduces himself, as we walk slowly around to the back door. I thought it would be easier to come in the back way rather than to fight the multitude of chairs and bodies in the lounge.

Chris Difford is in my house!

He says hello to Denise, who is still piling up the food, and Chris remarks on how wonderful it all looks. Denise offers him some food, but he declines politely saying he has a meal planned for later. He makes his way towards the lounge and says hello to the gathered crowd as they almost squeal with delight! He turns back to Denise briefly and asks if he could use the loo! He maybe a deity to us, but he is also human, I show him through into the hall and point him up the stairs, shutting the door behind him, I look back into the lounge at the excited faces. Chris Difford is using my loo!!

It is getting more and more amazing.

He returns and takes up his place, on a chair by the TV, in front of a semi-circle of admiring onlookers. We don’t know really what to expect, but he relaxes us with gentle conversation, as he removes his guitar from that famous stickered case, before starting the musical soiree with “Take Me I’m Yours”.  Afterwards he suggests we introduce ourselves, so that he knows who is who, so we go round the semi-circle saying who we are and where we are from. He is genuinely interested and asks questions and jokes with each of us, being particularly impressed with the American contingent, on how far they had travelled.

The next hour or so passes quickly, with songs, laughs and stories. Pictures are taken, videos are recorded and questions are asked. I can’t really remember the order of the songs, but the set list contained;

Electric Trains

Cinderella

1975

Lamas Fayre

Around The Houses

On My Own I’m Never Bored

Pop Noodle

Fat as a Fiddle

Battersea Boys

Cowboys Are My Weakness

Cool For Cats

It wasn’t really a set list though; Chris asked us for any requests or flicked through his songbook and sang and played beautifully. He talked about Fancy Pants. He talked about songs and song writing. He talked about life in Squeeze. It was a really friendly relaxed, joyous occasion and one that sadly had to end. Although he was gracious enough and happy enough to pose for photographs. He also signed his autograph on various items. A true gentleman and a legend in the lounge!

We waved him off as his car drove quietly out of the cul-de-sac and we retired back to the lounge for food, drinks and to relive the last ninety minutes, with huge smiles on our faces and copious amounts of love in our hearts.

People tell me it is a wonderful story, how twelve people came to together, drawn close by the love of this great man. We may have met as strangers, but we leave this experience as true friends. The distance between us physically may be far, but there is a unique closeness in our hearts. It was and still is, as we look back on it, a very emotional day – there was a lot of love in that lounge.

I cannot end this little story without thanking a few people, for making our lives just that little bit brighter.

Chris Difford is a wonderful person, enigmatic maybe, but funny, sharing, thoughtful, talented and he brings joy via his songs to the hearts of thousands and long may it continue.

Pete and Jan, a wonderful fun loving couple, I don’t think I have laughed so much with people I have only known for a few hours, just lovely.

Stephen and Rob stepped over the threshold and were immediately friends. Quiet and unassuming but knowledgeable about music and musicians, ready to regale you with stories from their life together.

Tami and Diane. Well what can I say? From social media you get this anarchic fun loving buzz exuding from their every post. In reality they are much the same. Dedicated Squeeze fans and just so much fun to meet.

Claudia and Pat, our long distance travellers. Pat was so easy going, down to earth and wonderful to talk to. Claudia was so charming and smitten by all things English, including Chris Difford and mushy peas. A fine combination.

I should also like to thank my lovely wife Denise for standing by me, even though she thought I was off my rocker for saying yes! However, having gone through the whole experience she would do it again in the blink of an eye, she loved it!

Last and by no mean least are Dave and Shirley, without whom none of the above would have happened. Such a lovely, devoted couple. Dave is a musician and just a really nice chap, very easy to get on with and somebody I can now call my friend. Shirley is just the most wonderful person ever, she didn’t have to share this adventure with me, but she did and it was a most unselfish thing to do, sharing the love and bringing us all together for a most amazing experience.

I am truly honoured to be so close to some amazing people.

Thank you.


* Update
And do you know what? We did it all over again 18 months later! A bit bigger, a bit better, some different people, it was really great.

Our Italian Holiday 2016 - Part 3

Day 5 - Wednesday 21st September

So we've reached day 5 and we are halfway through already! Today is a rest day for us, no coach trip - although those with a head for heights and a desire to spend another day on board the coach could travel to the Grand Dolomites. Mountains to you and me. We, instead plumped for a lie-in and then a walk into Arco and then walk up a mountain!!


What?


OK, not quite a mountain, but the Castello di Arco is situated atop a very tall outcrop of mountain, nestled some 100m above the town itself. To reach it you need to wind your way up a very zig-zag path that crosses back and forth beyond and above the town, rising slowly through the olive groves. Stunning views, become even more stunning as you rise slowly above the town of Arco, with views out towards Riva del Garda and the lake beyond.


Sounds idyllic doesn't it? Well yes, it was and is. And at one point, they decided to build a viewing platform jutting out from the side of the rock, high above the town below. Not that bad you would think, but then some bright spark came up with the idea to make the last 3 feet and the end wall out of glass!! Totally unnecessary and for those who don't like heights, totally frightening! Now I like heights, it's the drops I cannot stand, so I declined to venture out onto some glass shelf, which would, knowing my luck, shatter into a million pieces, as soon as my little toe got near to it.

We carried on up and eventually reached the castle ruins. You do have to pay to walk around, but there is video presentation, plus display boards detailing the history and don't forget the views from the very top. Absolutely stunning morning spent up there and all done under our own steam.

The rest of the day was taken up by lunch back down in the town, followed by the short walk back to the hotel, where we took full advantage of the sunshine and the pool, well I did a few lengths whilst Mrs Dave dangled her legs in the pool and Little Miss Dave read whilst lying out on a bean bag. Unfortunately, that late afternoon sunshine didn't last long, but another enjoyable Italian holiday day ticked off.


Day 6 - Thursday 22nd September

Today is another included excursion, this time to the southern end of the lake, so it's all aboard the coach for journey down to Garda town. Garda town is another quaint picturesque town, nestled into the lake side. With it's Italianate styles of architecture, dusky beige and pink houses, with open campaniles, exposing the swinging bells, striking the hour. Although the early start meant that the sun hadn't fully burnt off the cloud, so Garda was slightly overcast.

Lazise

We then took the short coach journey further south, to Lazise where the sun was starting to shine. Lazise again is stuck on the side of the lake, with open promenades and wide piazzas beyond the city walls. A nice little stop to taste the delights of the hotel's packed lunch, or feed it to the ducks!

Sirmione

The third and final stop on our southern lake tour is the stunningly beautiful Sirmione. Set on a thin peninsula jutting northwards up into the lake, Sirmione is the epitome of Lake Garda tourist towns. It mixes ancient architecture, with modern buildings but the two do not encroach on one another. You stop in the modern and walk through to the old, like some time travelling tourist. However, in our case we first took a boat trip to discover Sirmione and it's differing architectural styles from the lake. We picked up our boat, at the side of the coach park. Only room for around 20 people, with no top, but a massive outboard engine, which was only tickled into life as we gently cruised around the peninsula. Taking in the views of the Scaliger Castle and the various churches dotted around. We then drifted out into the lake to see the bubbling thermal springs that feed warm water into the lake, a natural phenomenon not lost on the people of Sirmione, as they used the thermal springs to run their spas and bath houses, where visitors could come and take advantage of the healing powers of the waters. Anyway back to the boat, after seeing the thermal springs, our captain told us to sit down and hold tight, as we began our very quick journey back to the dock.

I say very quick, because he whacked the engine on full throttle and gunned the boat back to shore! The pointy end, (nautical term), where we were sat, raised up in the water and the stern sat low down, spewing foamy water streams out of the back as we haired along. If you've never seen a boat full of pensioners screaming with joy, you've never lived! Our trusty and somewhat mental captain started swinging the boat around in great arcs, flicking the wheel from side to side. Enormous fun and a great end to our little boat trip.

We settled ourselves after the boat ride, with a few drinks down on the lake side, sitting in the glorious sunshine, sipping wine and eating the olives, nuts and snacks, which the bars regularly provide, for free, if you buy drinks. Just perfection!

And obviously, our trip would not be complete without the regular purchase from the local gelateria!


Travellers Tips, For Your Coach Trips

Another thing to be wary of on a coach trip is technology. Do you know how annoying the key tones on a mobile phone are? On a sleepy coach, in the middle of the night, with some chap behind, tapping away, the answer is; very! We did suffer, with strange screen glows and beeps and whistles and diverse ringtones. Just be careful. If you don't think your ringtone is annoying, then somebody else will.
However, I must confess to falling foul of my own guidelines. I have bluetooth headphones, ideal to hook up to your smartphone and listen to music. Unfortunately, my bluetooth headphones have a bright little blue LED that flashes gentle every second when it is connected. During the day, it would probably go unnoticed, but at 2am on a very dark and quiet coach, travelling through France it can be very bright! I expect the people sat behind me were thinking that the Gendarmerie were chasing the coach!


Click for Part 4